Let’s just get real here…. these Pork Carnita Bowls are ridiculous. Ridiculously good that is! So ridiculously good that my husband took one bite and said “This is way better than Chipotle.” EXACTLY what I was thinking all day when I was eating it. Yes, I was chowing down on the meat all day because I decided it would be a good idea to make it ahead of time. That turned out to be a horrible idea!
Why is it a horrible idea you ask? Because you will want to eat half of it before the rest of your family even knows it is in existence. You might even think up some evil plot to hide it from everyone and pretend it never happened just so you can have it all to yourself. I’m not saying any evil plots went on inside my kitchen today, but I definitely ate a good third of the meat before anyone else even had the chance to taste it. When my toddler caught wind of what was going on he was trying to smuggle handfuls of meat into the living room without being noticed. Not gonna happen on my watch, bebe, because I know all about them smuggling tricks. I’m the master smuggler with my expensive organic chocolate bars that I’m so NOT sharing with any kiddos. I know all about hiding in a corner or closet and quickly enjoying every delicious bite before someone notices. At which point I pretend like I have no idea what chocolate they are speaking of. Chocolate? Where? 
Just incase anyone was wondering what exactly a carnita bowl is, here is my super awesome step-by-step picture thingy for your viewing pleasure. It is basically just like a bowl that you would get a chipotle, minus the random ingredients they use. Speaking of random ingredients I now present you with my Chipotle public service announcement. If you don’t care please pretend like I’m saying this really quickly just like the person at the end of the pill commercial who tells you your probably going to just drop dead as soon as you take it. Here goes:
Chipotle is not healthy fast food. Their wraps contain partially hydrogenated oils (aka trans fats) and a bunch of other crap. They use genetically engineered soybean oil in all of their products. Just because they have cool bags and make claims like “grass fed” and “better” doesn’t mean they aren’t sneaking crap into your food. The End. Now please, look at my cool picture thingy! And while your at it Pin the picture thingy so other people can see how awesome it is.
Wow, that was awesome sauce, wasn’t it? 
Now, let’s talk more about making the meat because I have a serious confession. You may have noticed, I don’t really do slow cooker meals. I know, I know, the new moms need slow cooker meals! But I’m over that phase right now (phew!) and slow cookers are just too boring for me. I need to be able to see the food and play with it while it is cooking because I’m just ADHD like that. I can’t bear the thought of putting my beautiful pork roast in a lonely, not to mention ugly (my mom got it for a wedding gift like 100 years ago and it is that baby poop green color. Anyone from that time want to explain that color to me?) slow cooker and leaving it all by it’s lonesome for a few hours. I mean, come on people, pork roasts need some lovin’ too and my ugly slow cooker isn’t doing the job. I just can’t. This is my officially official apology to all the slow cooker lovers. I’m sorry!
*This recipe would work wonderfully in a slow cooker though, so if your not as ADHD about food as me, give it a try!
So what did I do if I didn’t use a slow cooker? I simply used my stovetop on low heat for about 90 minutes. Yes, 90 minutes to all of this awesomeness. That potentially means you could throw this on the stove when you get home from work along with the rice, go do a bunch of crap that you didn’t really want to do, and come back to some wonderful carnitas. If you are more of a nacho, taco, or burrito person this meat would be amazing served in any of those ways as well.
Carnita Bowl Seasoned Rice
Ingredients:
- 2 cups rice
- 1/4 tsp kosher salt
- generous sprinkle adobo seasoning
- 1 sweet bell pepper (red, orange, or yellow preferred)
- 1/4 cup fresh cilantro
Directions: Put rice, seasoning, pepper, and water needed to cook rice into a pot and cook according to package directions. When rice is cooked, fluff with a fork and add chopped cilantro.
