Why I hate uncrustables (must have a sense of humor to proceed)

Someone, somewhere is laughing all the way to the bank at the thought of consumers actually purchasing pre-made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. SERIOUSLY people… is it that hard to take two pieces of bread and spread something on them? If you don’t like the crust then hey, here’s a novel idea, cut it off! This is one of those products that make me think Smucker’s must really be trying to kill off the stupid people or something because the ingredients in these things are horrendous. The worst part is they are marketed to kids and unsuspecting parents might think they are a fun idea. THINK AGAIN!

When I went to Smucker’s website to get the ingredient list I was furious. These people must be employing Satan himself because it takes a pretty unethical person to know what are in these things, yet post pictures of kids running in the wind, flying kites, and exploring the world. They even threw in some catchy slogans like “Nothing can stop you when you’ve got this sandwich in your hand” and “Perfect for your unstoppable lifestyle”. Let’s not forget they now have a “Whole Wheat” version too! Good one Smucker’s, good one!

Here are the ingredients in the whole wheat peanut butter and honey variety:

 WHEAT BREAD: UNBLEACHED WHOLE WHEAT FLOUR, WATER, WHEAT GLUTEN, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP,  SOYBEAN OIL, CONTAINS 2% OR LESS OF: SALT, DOUGH CONDITIONERS (DISTILLED MONOGLYCERIDES, SODIUM STEAROYL LACTYLATE, DATEM, ENZYMES [WITH AMYLASE, LIPASE, ASCORBIC ACID,  CALCIUM PEROXIDE, AZODICARBONAMIDE, WHEAT STARCH]), YEAST. PEANUT BUTTER: PEANUTS, DEXTROSE, SUGAR, MONO AND DIGLYCERIDES (PALM AND/OR SOYBEAN OIL), CONTAINS 2% OR LESS OF: FULLY HYDROGENATED VEGETABLE OILS (SOYBEAN AND/OR COTTONSEED AND/OR RAPESEED), SALT, MOLASSES. HONEY SPREAD: CORN SYRUP, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, WATER, HONEY, CONTAINS 2% OR LESS OF: PECTIN, NATURAL FLAVOR, CITRIC ACID, POTASSIUM SORBATE (PRESERVATIVE), CARAMEL COLOR, CALCIUM CHLORIDE.

I highlighted all of the red flags I see in this ingredient list. Here is a run down of the disaster that is an Uncrustable:

• High fructose corn syrup: Highly processed and refined. HFCS is NOT cane sugar and our bodies do NOT process it the same way. Dr. Mark Hyman explains it the best “When used in moderation it is a major cause of heart disease, obesity, cancer, dementia, liver failure, tooth decay, and more.” No amount of advertising from the Corn Industry will convince me that HFCS is ok for us to consume!
• Soybean oil: Highly processed and refined “bad fats”
• Monoglycerides/Mono and diglycerides: Hidden form of partially hydrogenated oils (aka TRANS FATS!) not required to be labeled on the ingredient list or in the nutritional facts panel. I know for sure this is true because they disclose their source is soybean oil
• DATEM: an emulsifier and another hidden form of TRANS FATS!
• Azodicarbonamide: Remember the yoga mat material in Subway Breads? Yeah well this is the same ingredient. We asked Subway to remove it, and Smucker’s was probably peeing themselves a little and hoping that would pass before anyone noticed they are using it in products marketed to kids!
• Fully hydrogenated vegetable oils: TRANS FATS!
• Corn syrup: Another highly refined ingredient from the corn industry, also likely GMO
• HFCS listed AGAIN
• Natural flavor: We have no idea what this is. It could literally be anything
• Potassium Sorbate (preservative): Can someone please explain why you need a preservative in a frozen product?
• Caramel color: Potential carcinogen

Did I just count 3 uses of trans fats and 2 uses of HFCS in one product? Sadly, these are the ingredients and I think they speak for themselves. The only thing I can really leave you with is this: If you or someone you know is still using Uncrustables please share this article with them!